Letting Go of ED... and More

A note from Dr. Dorie:  A very dear friend of mine has recently learned that her Mother only has about a month to live.  What is my friend thinking and feeling at the loss of her parent?  How do we let go of someone we love?  Is it somewhat like letting go of our eating disorder?  Do we love it... not want it to die... yet know we must let go?  Below is the recent update about our Tuesday night group, also on the theme of letting go.  I hope it inspires you to attend and participate.  Or, to just stay connected with us.

Thank you to all our group members who were in attendance last night; and, to those who were unable to attend, I hope these updates bring you a sense of connection and encouragement.

We seem to be seeing in group a theme of needing to take our own advice. Isn’t that so often the case? It just tends to be easier to find the positive and feel the hope for others than it is for ourselves. A number of individuals last night echoed to one another that they see them on the other side—of the ED, of the unhealthy relationship, of the self-destruction. The words, “I am here for you” and “we support you” were echoed throughout the group to struggling members. Many could relate to that ever-present struggle of trying to accept our “set-point weight.” The word “courage” came up more than once.

A number of common threads ran throughout last evening’s discussion. The theme of control was echoed in several members’ check-ins. The need to find control in some area of life, or even the need to have somesort of self-sabotage or addiction. Even those things are forms of control. Whether that be the eating disorder itself, a relationship, exercise, or another form of behavior, it can be difficult to break the attachment. To loosen our grip, though, is to relinquish that control; here, then, comes the letting go.

Letting go of the need to be a certain weight; letting go of a person; letting go of an addiction we allowed ourselves to be defined by. Letting go is terrifying! Who are we, after all, if we’re not the eating disorder or the behavior or the relationship? Sometimes that possibility can be too scary or anxiety-provoking, in and of itself. But, indeed—who are you? Allow your heart to dream of the possibilities. Who are you when you allow yourself to be defined by something other than that thing you have grown so accustomed to? One group member, in fact, said all too profoundly that she has discovered the missing link—to love herself. How might your day look, then, if you exercised love and compassion for yourself instead of negative self-talk? What kind of an impact might that kind of grace have on your decisions? With whom you interact? The ways you spend your time? Food for thought...


Written by Stefanie Adair, Volunteer Facilitator