Climbing the Mountain of Eating Disorder Recovery

At group on Tuesday night, I heard several echo feelings of being overwhelmed, looking at the mountain before them of to-do’s and seemingly impossible situations. The weight of that mountain is really too much sometimes, and it may make the “simplicity” of the eating disorder sound all the more alluring. Trying to navigate the rocky terrain of schoolwork, finances, body image, relationships, difficult family conversations, or feeling like the ED is just too big a hurdle…Too much at once can really send us to a place of hopelessness and despair. So, what do we do in those moments? 

One member shared her method of making life more manageable—do the next right thing. Whether your next right thing is getting through the next hour or the next five minutes, what is that baby step that needs to be taken? Some other very practical suggestions were shared by group members—Finding a sponsor through OA (Overeaters Anonymous, technically, but an AA-type support base that encompasses all eating disorders—anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder, EDNOS, etc.). –Also, perhaps changing up the format of regularly scheduled therapy sessions (i.e., instead of all weekly, hour-long meetings, requesting one week’s meeting be divided up into five 10-minute phone check-ins with your therapist). What does your next right thing look like?

We talked, also, about getting to know ourselves outside of the ED. That can encompass so many things…Finding your voice, advocating for yourself in tough situations, exploring new hobbies and interests. The ED is so all-consuming that it monopolizes our time and becomes our voice when we let it. Our true passions and interests take a backseat when the ED is driving. Beyond it, though, is a whole other world. Members talked about experimenting with new hobbies, new ways of being, new ways of relating to others, new ways of relating to themselves. Where in your life is the ED doing the talking? Is there space in your world you would like to reclaim?

As the group shared and encouraged one another, I was struck with something else…Picturing that mountain, knowing that every single one of us has been there in that hopeless place…It can feel very isolating. When you’re doing the day-to-day and struggling to put one step in front of the other—support group not in sight and therapist separated by distance and voicemail—you may feel very alone. The temptation may be to feel like you’re the only one—that no one feels what you are feeling right now. This is when we need to be reminded how much we need one another. We all long for community and need that listening ear or shoulder to cry on. In the pit, we need to be reminded of our other group members standing at the top, looking over the ledge and pulling for us. Or, maybe we look over our shoulder and realize there are others, right alongside us. Watching the cycle of encouragement play out in this group is pretty astounding, really. One member who, not all that long ago, was feeling rather hopeless herself, benefited from her fellow members’ insight and encouragement to hang on. Now, she is finding herself in a stronger place and offering hope and words of wisdom to another member. When we find ourselves losing hope, again we remember that there are others who are willing to hang onto that hope for us. We may need to lend it out temporarily; we may need to let others believe it for us…But it has a way, somehow, of coming back around.

Written by Stefani Adair, Volunteer Facilitator