New Year's Reflection

We had our final group meeting of the year, and the decade!  Out with the old, in with the new.  But to suddenly wake up in 2010 without an eating disorder is unlikely.  Recovery is a process.  You can learn from this past year, to help you in the year ahead.  Attached is a pdf file for a worksheet that we used at this past week's group.  Use this to reflect upon your past year, and to set intentions for the year ahead.  I hope that one of your intentions in to join us for our next group, 01/05/10 at 6:30pm!

New Year's Reflections Worksheet

Eating Disorders Support During The Holidays

Holiday Greetings!

As I write this post, I am visiting my family in Tucson.  It's a small gathering, with my parents, my two brothers, and my two nieces.  At this point in my recovery, I am able to "witness" the dynamics of my family without being triggered with any eating disorder behavior.  Yes, there are still comments about my eating patterns, but they don't impact me like they used to.  "Are you really going to eat all that?" remarked my Mom as I had lunch today.  I remained intuitive with my meal, and enjoyed it, despite her comment.  Yes, there is "food everywhere," and I'm sure I don't need to go into any details, but you can imagine.  But seeing the food doesn't mean I have to have some every time I walk by the vast array of items.  I have some if that's what I really want, without guilt or deprivation.  One of the really nice things about my visit this year is that I am developing deeper connections with my family, which I was unable to do when my eating disorder was my primary focus.  It feels good to be at this place in my recovery, and I hope this gives you some hope that you can live as if you've never had an eating disorder, too.  Take whatever steps you can to stay on your "Positive Pathways" of recovery!

Our next support group will meet Tuesday, December 22 from 6:30-8pm at the Eating Disorder Foundation in Denver.  Please join us for support to overcome anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder!  Feel free to call me at 303.494.1975 for more info about this group.   

Binge Eating Disorders Denver

I wanted to let you know if you would like more information about eating disorders treatment and a little more about me-please feel free to go to my Binge Eating Disorders Denver profile at LinkedIn. I welcome you to join my network if you would like. Thanks, Dr. Dorie

Eating Disorders, Perfection And Support

Guess what! I'm not perfect! When I started this blog a year ago, I had hoped to make posts once a week. Obviously, that didn't happen! My previous attempts to be perfect always fueled my symptoms of anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder. And, the more I engaged in my eating disorder behaviors, the more I resolved to try once again to be perfect. It was a classic Catch-22. The only way out was to embrace imperfection! I don't deliberately try to be imperfect, but I smile a little when I am. So, I'm smiling now :-)

In recent weeks, the attendance at our support group meetings on Tuesday evenings in Denver has grown. It has been amazing to witness the connection that is unfolding between group members, and the valuable support which is being shared. It truly supports my own recovery to support others. I enjoy writing about the topics we discuss on our group, and I'd like to set an intention to make more frequent posts to this blog (with permission to not be perfect)!

You can get involved by posting comments, and becoming a follower. This way, you can still get support if you can't make a meeting -- or if the group is cancelled (as it was yesterday due to a flood in the building). Even if you don't live in Denver, you can join in our discussions. We're all here to support each other in eating disorder recovery!

Feeling Fat

H brought our topic this week, and shared a few passages from one of her favorite books, Breaking Free From Emotional Eating, by Geneen Roth.  The section in the book was entitled, "Courting, Befriending and Forgiving Yourself."

The start of this section wasn't all that loving.  Geneen described wanting to cut the fat off her body, leaving herself bloody-to-the-bone.  Sadly, almost everyone in our group had similar thoughts at some point.  This is how much we have hated our bodies.  But this self-hate is disempowering.  We cannot be the magnificent women we truly are when we drain our personal power by disliking our bodies and ourselves.  

Geneen then shared a loving solution.  She suggested putting your hands on a body part that you dislike, and touching it and talking to it with love.  I have tried this, and it was tremendously healing.  I encourage you to try it, too -- make sure that you have lots of kleenex on hand!  Our bodies have endured so much, and have so much to offer us, so what if they are not perfect, we have alot to be grateful for...     

Food For Thought

T brought the topic this week, introducing us to one of her favorite books, Awakening The Buddha Within.  She shared a passage with us, as "food for thought"...  

"It is often tempting to use our thoughts to make ourselves feel okay about what we are going to do anyway, rationalizing all sorts of crookedness through self-justification.  We drink the extra drink, then drive home, telling ourselves that it really doesn't matter this time, and that we won't do it again.  We cut corners in deals or cheat on taxes and rationalize away any guilty feelings.  I've certainly made excuses to myself in order to do things I want to do and be where I want to be.  Haven't you?  Haven't you dredged up seemingly sensible or nobel sounding reasons for questionable behavior?  Haven't you told yourself it really doesn't matter, when you know very well that it does?  We all have.  Let's not fool ourselves.  How can we learn instead to approach the world with pure intentions and an open honest awareness?  We will all be alot happier and less care worn if and when we can do so." -- Lama Surya Das 

I can't count the number of times that I would restrict, binge or purge, making up some excuse to justify my actions, but knowing deep down that I was not being true to myself.  This seemed to create a downward spiral, where I would justify more ED behaviors, to deal with the pain of not being true to myself.  The only way out of this "Catch-22" was to do as Lama Surya Das suggests:  live with pure intentions and honest awareness.  This was a key to my recovery.  Food for thought for you...

Desperately Seeking Self

V brought our topic this past week, and shared a few excerpts from Viola Fodor's book, Desperately Seeking Self.  This is an "inner guide book" for people with eating and weight issues.  We all took turns and read a few passages.  Here are a few highlights:  

• "Use your problem with food as a teacher or signal directing you to those areas of your life that require immediate attention."  
• "Listen to your body's signals of hunger and satiation so that you can begin to respect your nutritional needs."
• "Develop respect and trust for your inner voice, allowing it to guide you to a greater well-being and life purpose."  
  

Understanding Anorexia

Do your friends and family know how to support you in your recovery? Do you think that they understand anorexia and other eating disorders? Do they know what truly helps you, and what doesn't? It can be challenging for friends and family to know how to be supportive because they don't know what it's like to have an eating disorder. They haven't walked in your shoes. But one supportive husband tried, at least for a few days. J brought an article entitled, "Anorexia Nearly Killed My Wife" (Glamour magazine, January 2008). The article told the story of Meg's anorexia and recovery, and her husband Tom's perspective and process of support. In an effort to understand anorexia, and why it was so hard for Meg to overcome it, Tom tried to "simulate anorexia," by deliberately cutting calories in addition to daily workouts. The first two days were a struggle. But by day three, he found himself thinking that when he refused food, he had a sense of victory. This helped Tom to understand the "seduction of the words in her head, how they could override the most basic human survival instincts." Tom's experience helped him to be more patient, understanding and supportive during Meg's recovery. A word of caution: Tom's starvation experience is actually what happens to many dieters. It is estimated that 33% of dieters become obsessed with weight loss, and 10% end up like Meg, with a severe eating disorder. While Tom's efforts were noble, let's be clear: to understand anorexia, you don't have to starve yourself. Just ask lots of questions, read lots of books, and be grateful that you will never really understand.

Intuitive Eating

H brought the topic for the evening, and shared a few passages from one of Geneen Roth's books. When Geneen ate chocolate chip cookies for fifteen days in a row, not many people would consider that "intuitive eating." But for the first time in her life she gave herself permission to eat exactly what she wanted, and only what she wanted. I shared that during my own recovery, I had peanut butter crunch blizzards every day for at least two weeks. Like Geneen, I woke up one day and actually wanted vegetables - not because I should eat vegetables, not because vegetables are healthy, but because I truly wanted to eat vegetables! This is actually the first step on the path of intuitive eating - breaking free of your cravings for binge foods.

Eating Disorders And The Media

Have you heard of Karen Carpenter?  She was an amazing singer, in the group The Carpenters, who died in her 30's because of an eating disorder.  In 1983, the year of her death, eating disorders made the headlines.  Finally, eating disorders were pulled out from the shadows, and as a result, treatment was promoted and lives were saved.  

Since then, most publications about eating disorders tend to promote them rather than their treatment.  Numerous articles and websites offer advice about how to become ultra-thin, with photos for "thinspiration."  Even articles that are intended to promote recovery can do the opposite, because too many details about eating disordered behaviors are revealed. 

What is being done to address this?  B brought an article for our topic this week, from BBC News.  It discussed how the French National Assembly is addressing this issue, with a bill to prosecute and fine publications and websites that promote eating disorders.        

What can you do to address this?  If you find an article, book or website that promotes eating disorders, write to the editor or website host with your feedback.  If the website host is not listed on the website, you can go to http://www.whois.com and type in the name of the website to find out the hosting information.

Or, you can take action by consciously choosing to look away from pro-eating disorder stuff.  Look instead to something that promotes eating disorder recovery ... like this blog :-)