"It is often tempting to use our thoughts to make ourselves feel okay about what we are going to do anyway, rationalizing all sorts of crookedness through self-justification. We drink the extra drink, then drive home, telling ourselves that it really doesn't matter this time, and that we won't do it again. We cut corners in deals or cheat on taxes and rationalize away any guilty feelings. I've certainly made excuses to myself in order to do things I want to do and be where I want to be. Haven't you? Haven't you dredged up seemingly sensible or nobel sounding reasons for questionable behavior? Haven't you told yourself it really doesn't matter, when you know very well that it does? We all have. Let's not fool ourselves. How can we learn instead to approach the world with pure intentions and an open honest awareness? We will all be alot happier and less care worn if and when we can do so." -- Lama Surya Das
I can't count the number of times that I would restrict, binge or purge, making up some excuse to justify my actions, but knowing deep down that I was not being true to myself. This seemed to create a downward spiral, where I would justify more ED behaviors, to deal with the pain of not being true to myself. The only way out of this "Catch-22" was to do as Lama Surya Das suggests: live with pure intentions and honest awareness. This was a key to my recovery. Food for thought for you...
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